Monday 31 August 2009

Ballybunyon, keep puttin them lighterz up

1. Zac Efron leads a group of conspiracy theorists who hold the Nolan Sisters responsible for the 9/11 terror attacks. They meet on the 24th of every month at Greggs bakery in Eastcote high street and pretend they don't know eachother, y'know... for a laugh

2. He can't have a fucking row!

3. In the next WKD advert, Zac will be shown snogging a girl in a nightclub and then tell her that he has swine flu. He'll rejoin the rest of the lads at the table and they will be looking at the floor in discomfort

4. Fucking loves a bit of crumpet does our Zac. In the last month alone, he has slept with close to 4 women

5. Zac's favourite book is 'Of Mice and Men' by Carol Vorderman

6. It is a weekly ritual in the Efron family household to act like a cunt

7. Get this, he only tried to include Kevin Nolan in his premier league dream team this year! Jesus the boy's living in 2007, he probably still thinks 'Beautiful Girls' by Sean Kingston in still number 1 and is cheering on Jermaine Jackson to win Celebrity Big Brother

8. Zac, believe it or not never cared for High School Musical. He was once overheard saying he thought it was 'lame' and called director Kenny Ortega a 'poofter' in his incredibly unfunny gay voice

9. Efron's sense of bereavment is all powerful

10. What is next for Zac Efron???? a game of Pro Evo and a wank probably

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